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It’s been four and a half weeks since I purchased my big black boot (B3) as my latest fashion accessory. Four and a half weeks since my adventures began. (You can read about it in my blog The beauty of friendship.) I had planned to wear my new red boots as a fall statement. Instead I took a detour through one red and B3. Fortunately, only another week and a half and I can wean myself into TWO red boots. Yippee.

big black boot B3

big black boot B3

During these B3 weeks, I’ve moved through many shades of purple, yellow, and green on my foot.  My twice-daily application of arnica gel (the injured person’s best friend) quickened its improvement. There’s still a purple line around the breaking point of my big toe that looks like something bit me. I anticipate it will eventually disappear too.

I learned quickly that my poor uninjured heel couldn’t take the constant pounding on it as I clobbered it in that hard, hard B3. Not to worry, Dr. Scholl’s heel pads were the answer. I’m glad I got them. My heels would probably resemble ground beef by this point.

Now, Velcro is a fabulous invention. It helps young mothers get their children properly and quickly shod. But it also comes with challenges. I discovered the one connected to B3 in the middle of the night. Since I have to wear the boot to bed, I’ve slept covered by the afghan made by my grandmother (see blog Hugs.) A nice enough arrangement. Until the night I rolled over too many times and found myself in a velcroed afghan burrito. I couldn’t move. Good ole B3 had affixed itself to the yarn’s fibers and sealed me inside. David had to come to my rescue. Midnight burritoectomy.

Another way B3 has taken over my life—I can’t drive. There’s no way I can put that clunky thing anywhere near only one pedal with any accuracy. So I’ve been at David’s mercy to drive me (thank you very much). That arrangement ignores the fact I might want to run away from home. Imagine the scenario. “David I’d like to runaway at 2:30. Can you take me?” Not that good, huh? The upside? He’s taken me places and helped me settle into a chair with my mocha (chocolate is definitely required when wearing B3) and gotten whatever else I’ve wanted.

As helpful as B3 has been and as grateful as I am for having it, I look forward to taking it off permanently. Currently I’m allowed to take it off for hours at home with my toe buddy wrapped to the one next to it. In a week and a half, I get to venture out of the house B3 free. Red boots, here I come.

To reassure me I’m not the only doofus out there, please share your adventures with big black boots, casts, slings, bandages, splinters, etc. I can’t wait to hear them.


October 7, 2013 · 10:08 pm